Strength

Another day.... another day to survive.
Ya Allah, I swear I need my inner strength to survive this heartbreak.

Woke up in the morning feeling so ill. I don't even know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.

Why do I have to keep thinking of you? Why do I have to keep on switching my phone on and off and on, again and again to wait for your text. Your call.


Yes, the waiting game will stop when you text me. Surprisingly you did.
You said you didn't mean to do it? Yeah right. Again? Do you even realize what have you done?
This is not your first time, by the way.

You don't understand, you don't know how it feels like!
Fuck you. Yes, I really mean it. What, do you think I don't have any feelings?! You can go and play games with my feelings and shit. Think twice, boy. If you want to play with fire, you're going to get yourself burned. I won't let you take me for granted.

I don't even know what to say anymore. I don't even want to reply your text. I don't even know how to respond. I can't even listen to any of your bullshits. I had enough. This thing has taken its toll on me.
The hardest thing to do is to wake up in the morning, and check up on reality. It's really over. Unbelievable, it has come to an end, finally.

How can a person like me let a person like you ruined everything. My heart. My feelings. Every dreams I had about us. You have ruined everything.

This time again, I will ask for God's permission to forget everything I want to forget. I have succeed before, I am going to succeed again. I promise. Please, guide me in every decisions I am going to make. Please guide me and tell me what to do. Please ya Allah, help me.


I am sorry.
I do love you. It's hard to get rid of this feeling.
I have to.


Ya Allah, kalau dia bukan jodohku, bawa dia jauh dari ingatanku.
Ya Allah, kalau dia bukan jodohku, jauhi dia dari terus sakitkan aku.
Ya Allah, kalau dia bukan jodohku, bantu aku untuk melupakan.
Ya Allah, kalau dia bukan jodohku, jangan kau biarkan dia hampiri aku.
Ya Allah, kalau dia bukan jodohku, hapuskan lah rasa dan perasaan ini.


Ya Allah, bantulah hamba-Mu. Aku sangat memerlukan belas kasihan-Mu, ya Rabb.


Ya Allah, berikan aku kekuatan.