I wrote this a year ago..

"I don’t know what kind of person I am. Too forgetful, too forgive-ful, too sensitive, too fragile.

My point of saying is that.. I flawed, way too many times. I am aware that human make mistakes. I am human but some people just don’t realize that. This is hard. I can’t seem to take my mind off things that bothers me the most which is.. apologizing. I am a pro when it comes to this and a pro or a mayor of the country of ‘the unforgiven’. I may have flawed but please stop treating me like I have no feelings at all. I don’t know what kind of person I am to not be accepted that way, that makes me feel so bad it hurts. Every single cell of mine is breaking. God, why. 

Tell me what’s wrong with being honest? Tell me what’s wrong with saying “I’m sorry” when I really mean it? I am maybe naive. I take things too seriously. I live that way. Tried my best to get rid of that attitude but failed way too many times. The one who stayed, knows me best. Understands me the most. 

First impression is always important and I screwed up every first impressions people had about me. If there were a pie chart of my first impressions, the biggest part of the pie chart would be the negative first impressions. It is always negative. I am a pessimist at best. I was born to be a kid, a normal kid. Does what everyone does. Grow up, dream, fulfill and be happy. As I grow up, I’ve learned how hard it is to survive in this cruel judgemental world. How hard it is to just dream. How hard it is to fulfill the unfulfilled and most importantly, how hard it is to just be happy…

The people who makes me strong day by day is the people god choose to walk in and out of my life. I never claimed myself as a saint. I am not a saint, never. I have bad temper. Anger management problem. I can be selfish sometimes. Yes, that’s me.

I have nothing more to say. I can’t please anyone. I don’t buy conversation. I stood up and greet like normal people. I don’t sell off compliments where I believe some can come up in a form of lies. I believe what I believe. I curse a lot when I am angry. Cry a lot when I’m sad. Pray a lot when I’m in need. 

I have to toughen myself up. Believe in myself more. 

I can’t lie about that sometimes, I do care about what people say to me. That’s my weakness. 

So, what’s your life’s like? "

A year ago from my Tumblr.

(dirtiehippiekissin.tumblr.com)